Joseph, Mary, and Hebrew Marriage Customs

When reading the Christmas story from Matthew's gospel it is helpful to have an understanding about Hebrew marriage customs.

Parents arranged the marriages of their children; contracts were negotiated and the young couple entered into the covenant of marriage. After the arrangement was accomplished, the two were considered married and were called husband and wife. They did not, however, begin to live together or engage in sexual intimacy. Instead, they both continued to live at home with their parents for one year. During this waiting period, the husband would prepare a place for he and his bride to live (usually a room attached to his father's house). The waiting period was also to demonstrate the faithfulness of the pledge of purity given concerning the bride. If she got pregnant during this waiting period, she obviously was not pure, but had been involved in an unfaithful sexual relationship. In the case of marital unfaithfulness, the marriage could be annulled. If, however, the one-year waiting period demonstrated the purity of the bride, the husband would then go to the house of the bride’s parents and, in a grand processional march, lead his bride back to his home. Then the husband and wife would consummate their marriage.

It was during this one-year waiting period when an angel told Mary she was with child. She knew she had been faithful, but Joseph did not (vv. 20, 23). Very little is known about Joseph, but one can imagine how his heart must have been broken. Although the marriage was pre-arranged, he must have genuinely loved Mary. His love for her was demonstrated by his choice not to create a public scandal by exposing her pregnancy to the elders at the city gate. According the Law of Moses, Mary could have been stoned to death (Deut. 22:23-24). Instead, Joseph decided to divorce her quietly, severing the marriage covenant.

Now, in light of this background, I encourage you to read Matthew 1:18-25.

Christ the Savior is born!

Phil